When I teach students I tend to use the term ‘self-worth’. It’s an English teacher’s thing, I know, to be so pedantic, but I am awestruck by the power of language and so I tend to be cautious with my ‘labels’. I believe students should definitely be encouraged in all areas of schooling – academic achievement, citizenship, effort, manners, team work and so on. I also don’t believe praise or encouragement should be stingy. Still, I believe there seems to be a cultural imperative that one must feel good about oneself all of the time. So, when I am not doing at least the minimum effort, or I steal something from the teacher’s pencil case, or I am cruel to a class mate I am still not encouraged to remorse or conviction. Actually, even normal feelings like fear, sadness and grief aren’t always dealt with either. The book shop across the road from me would only stock three of a series of emotion books for little people (I wanted them for Tess). They had
‘Happy’, ‘Kind’ and ‘Love’ but didn’t get in ‘Scared’, ‘Angry’, ‘Sad’ or ‘Jealous’ (the last three are emotions even God feels – I’m not sure about scared). I talk to students about the times it is appropriate to feel bad things too and I have found that the language of ‘Self-esteem’ doesn’t allow for that.

A child should feel worthwhile, we should all know that our intrinsic worth is one of great value. We should value it so much that when we don’t look after ourselves or others or we behave badly we should feel convicted to do better and try better. Simultaneously, if sitting still when I am a fidgeter (and I am) is something the teacher notices then I think it’s right to go ahead and commend me. It’s appropriate to commend one child for a C grade and encourage another one to try harder. The grade isn’t the issue, the child is the important thing.

We live in a world where if something is hard to get it must be more valuable. I think we have got to the point where love and praise are treated with the same ungenerous hand. I have also found that being generous with praise gives my disappointment a great deal of power too. I don’t need to punish or humiliate to let a child know that he or she could have done better. And disappointment is an intensely loving punishment, it doesn’t seek to hurt but to let the child know that I have a wonderful image of him or her that I expect he or she can live up to. You can only get disappointed when someone isn’t working to be their best self. Self-worth is knowing that I do have a better self that needs to be maintained and loved (just like everyone else).

I think self-esteem is about working at preserving a feel good state without tending to the character.

Just my opinion.

For a start, the villification of home schooling for the behaviour of Gordon and Abuhamza will not help. Many children who attend school and interact with teachers and other students are abused at home on a daily basis. They are often so frightened and no more talkative than they would be if the abuser were present.

There’s a saying “locks only keep good people out”. People who will do something truly vile will continue to do it whether there is a law there or not. And there are any number of ways to hide the abuse of a child. The situation in the US with Jaycee Lee Dugard proves that.

Fine tooth legislation is just going to create a police state to the point that moral and honest people will have to break the law to do what they consider is right.

There should always be legislation that protects children but it needs to protect them not infringe on their rights. Where school does not offer an education consistent with beliefs and values then children have a right to seek their education elsewhere.

Legislating home schooling out of existence appears, to me, just another way for a secular pressure group to outlaw any belief system that isn’t PoMo Atheism.

It would be quite easy to guard children’s rights another way. In Australia a homeschooler has to be registered with the education system and home schooling representatives are vetoed and vetted by the education system and given a group to audit and administer. Of course, the homeschooler can choose and request a particular representative. The christians tend to ask for a christian one, the muslims seek out a muslim representative and so on. The representatives are all screened by the government so that they are there to protect the children, make sure some progress is made in the children’s education and that the children are not being abused in any way. That’s it, the content and nature of the children’s education is still with the parent. This creates a pretty harmonious relationship between churched and state. It works here, it’s far simpler than outlawing homeschooling and allows for freedom of thought.